The Search for Belonging: Being Chinese in Indonesia (1)

my grandma's story

My maternal grandparents are Chinese. But their culture is not. They have a strong Indonesian cultural background. They were both born and raised there. 

I did not acquire all the information about how all of my great-great-grandparents got to Indonesia — after all, it was history more than a century ago. I feel lucky to have my grandparents remain clear-minded as they age and share with me the things they still know. Especially my grandma, who loves to talk about these things. So here, the story of her, both typical and unique compared to other Chinese Indonesians, will be presented. 

My grandma's grandfather was a chef seeking to make a living for himself in Indonesia. He immigrated before 1919 — my grandma could not figure out the exact year. "Anyways, it was too chaotic in China," my grandma said. "Besides, at that time, there were plenty of opportunities in Southeast Asia. A lot of Fujianese, including my other grandpa, went there dreaming of becoming rich." 

My grandma's grandparents didn't end up on a famous Indonesian island such as Java. Instead, they settled in eastern Indonesia, on Ambon, one of the Maluku Islands. 

Ambon was very different from other Indonesian islands, with a distinct culture and ethnic composition. Most of the inhabitants of Ambon believed in Christianity, while Indonesia was and still is a country populated with Muslims. The strong bond connecting them was they were all under the rule of the Dutch East Indies. 

After the surrender of Imperial Japan in World War II in 1945, Indonesia declared its independence. After fighting the Dutch for another four years (officially called the Indonesian National Revolution) in 1949 (also the year my grandma was born), Indonesia gained its victory and received international recognition. Ambon, one of the former Dutch East Indies islands, became part of Indonesia.

My grandma then grew up on the island. Besides another small rebellion event in 1958 that featured an airstrike from the Americans, which made Ambon people have a harsh time, things were relatively fine. She attended schools opened by Chinese people until middle school. For high school, it was the first time she needed to step out and face a more diverse culture — maybe diverse, but not that welcoming. 

During the colonial history of Indonesia, the Dutch administration saw the ethnic and cultural differences between Chinese and native Indonesians. To maintain control, the government exaggerated and institutionalized the differences and developed a racial hierarchy system — the Europeans, of course, were at the top; foreigners, primarily Chinese, were in the middle; Native Indonesians were placed at the bottom. 

The government offered the Chinese more favorable economic privileges, policies, and positions. Meanwhile, they enforced stricter classification between different ethnic groups in administration, law, and education. The difference between Chinese and native Indonesians grew from ethnic and cultural to socioeconomic. The hate thus grew between Chinese and native Indonesians. 

I believe Chinese people can get along with native Indonesians. After all, the conflicts were all just artificially created by the colonizers. 

After Indonesia's independence, this sentiment still existed between Chinese and native Indonesians; that is, native Indonesians are supposed to hate Chinese, and vice versa. By 1964, although the president was cooperative with the Chinese government, societal tension was rising steadily. Thus, my grandma chose to attend a Catholic school instead of a government-funded public school. 

"I went to this Catholic school to avoid racial discrimination," said my grandma. It is both weird and fascinating to see an old Chinese lady say this — most of the Chinese (especially those my grandma's age) are atheistic, they have never received any kind of religious education; most of the Chinese (especially those in my grandma's age) do not understand what is racial discrimination, they have only lived in China, a country with one single dominant ethnic group. 

But she did not finish high school. The 30 September Movement came in 1965. The communists in Indonesia started a coup. General Suharto put down the coup rapidly and rose to power. As a rebound, anti-communist sentiment grew fast. Since China was a communist country and Chinese were everywhere in the country, anti-Chinese sentiment grew as well. 

That anti-Chinese sentiment resulted in mass violence towards Chinese Indonesians. 500,000 "suspected" communists were killed. Chinese women were raped. Shops and homes are robbed. Even in Ambon, where the anti-Chinese sentiments were not as huge as in other major islands, my grandma got stones thrown at her — she and her family were no longer welcomed.

So she fled, alongside her sister, to China in 1966, when the Cultural Revolution started. 

Although people have the impression that non-peasants in the Cultural Revolution would end up in a tough situation, my grandma and her sister were actually protected fine — despite the fact that the environment itself was already harsh enough. They flew from Jakarta, the capital of Indonesia, to Guangzhou, a southern Chinese city, and placed in a guest house for the Chinese diaspora. Then she continued her high school in Baoding, a northern city — but she actually did not study anything, as in these years, schools across the country were disrupted. After that, she followed Mao's instruction — he ordered the students to go to the places in need, that is, the rural farms and frontiers. Her life was once more swept up in history's tide. She joined the Inner Mongolia Production and Construction Corps and spent four years working hard to improve the natural environment. 

It was at the Corps in 1973 that she won her chance to attend university. That year, the Gaokao was in a state of cancellation. This college entrance exam was believed to be associated with the bourgeoisie, as much of the knowledge it tested was old and not newly created in this people's republic. It was believed that the descendants of the bourgeoisie were benefited from this testing system. Thus, Gaokao was canceled, and entry to the university depends on a recommendation system. Usually, the revolutionary committee, the de facto local government, evaluated people and recommended them to universities. But that evaluation did not consider the academic ability of the student, but more of their family background. That year, a few spots to attend college are given to the Corps. One spot was reserved for the returned Chinese diaspora. "It was my sister that was going to the university, but she insisted not to go and gave the chance to me," said my grandma. 

She attended a university in Beijing and graduated in three years. The Cultural Revolution ended with her graduation. She became a factory worker and lived a stable life afterward. She finally settled down after all the mess she encountered in Indonesia and China. She no longer needed to be scared. Marriage. Had a baby. Raised the baby up. Raised the baby's baby, that is me, up. 

When I was raised by her, so much Indonesian culture was woven into my life. We wore batik, a traditional Indonesian clothing. We cooked and ate dishes and snacks that originated in Indonesia. Even the music on radio was Indonesian. 

However, the influence of this Indonesian heritage did not only end up in the culture. When I was listening to my grandma's story, I was so touched and connected, especially considering that I am a Chinese student studying in America. When she attended a Catholic school to avoid discrimination, when she became a refugee and fled to China to ensure her own safety, and when she was sent to the Production and Construction Corps to do labor work, I learned resilience from her story. And more than resilience, I found hope — hope that everything will turn out fine for us, just as it did with my grandma. No matter whether we are underrepresented, underresourced, or discriminated against, although the struggle lies in the process, if there is hope in our minds, justice will come, and reparations will be made. 

Note from the Author:

This essay is being published in multiple parts. There will be more upcoming sections for this essay.